My Virtual Assistant

I use a virtual assistant named Kenna. She isn’t really real. That’s because she’s “virtual”, which in this case means “imaginary” instead of “outsourced to technology”. I can’t afford a real assistant (nor could I provide enough work for one) and I don’t have a fancy-wancy digital assistant like Siri, or Cortana, or Galaxy, or […]

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Imperfect

This is the kind of person i am. I like to read books that are important or smart, but I don’t read a lot of them. One once in a while. Then I think I’m smart, or at least smarter than the average suck. (Considering I don’t eat bread given to me by strangers in […]

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Do You Know What Day It Is?

What day is it? It’s a simple enough question at first glance, but the second you actually look into the history of it, you realize just how hard the answer can really be. The present dates on our calendar were carefully calculated by studious monks in quiet monasteries, all through the Dark Ages and up […]

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Perception Boost

Amateur writers often make the mistake of creating characters that are both hyperintelligent and omniscient. I don’t mean that most stories are peopled with demigods and metahumans, but that the characters of stories regularly have a greater ability to observe and learn from their surroundings and the events that they take part in. In games […]

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A Sign of a Wasted Life

Sometimes in my work, people welcome me into their house. Without fail, they immediately apologize for the perceived uncleanliness of their home. Whenever this comes up (which is quite often) I share my motto with them: “A clean house is a sign of a wasted life.” I mean it as an objective truth, not as […]

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When Not to be the Hero

By necessity, a writer must always keep an active imagination. It is after all (for the professional) his livelihood and (for the amateur) his means of personal satisfaction. A writer is naturally a creative person. After all, dragons, aliens, and ogres are not commonplace participants in everyday life. (Unless you commute on the subway, of […]

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