A Guided Tour of Reality

I usually don’t do this sort of thing, but I wrote this on a spurt during the week, and I’m proud of it. I hope that you enjoy it.


“This, as you can see, is reality.”

Olock was giving a tour to an imaginary family.

“Is made of two components: the seen and the unseen. Philosophers are still arguing over which is the true reality of the universe. Yes, you in the blue. How’s that? What are philosophers? I’m glad you asked. A philosopher is a scientist who doesn’t know that he’s a scientist, and in fact, has not agreed with his fellow scientists over what it is that they’re even studying

“This portion you are looking at now is of course the seen. The seen universe is made mostly of atoms and energies. These two substances combine to form 5 easily identifiable states: solid, liquid, gas, plasma, and pudding. These five states in different configurations are what make what you see through this window.

“Please stay behind the yellow line. We want to limit your exposure to some of reality’s more adverse effects as much as we can.

“The material side of reality is sometimes called the universe. The universe is rather large. When describing it, scientist immediately resort to numbers so large that they have no definitions, but instead have names, like Gogol, Gogolplex, and Fred.

“These explanations are rather useless. Even if you could wrap your mind around the impossibly large number of Fred, that would not even cover the barest fraction of a percentile of the donut themed restaurants here in reality.

“The universe is for all practical purposes infinite.

“Since it would be an exercise in futility to introduce you to all the places in reality, it may be wiser and more illuminating to familiarize you thoroughly with only one place.

“Step through the door one at a time in an orderly fashion, please. Thank you very much. Yes, the weather today is rather nice, isn’t it?

“Are we all here? Good. This is a plain. These long golden things waving in the wind is called wheat. Wheat grows in dirt, which is what we are standing on.

“No need to panic ma’am. We’re perfectly safe.

“As I was saying, that large disc like object on the far horizon is called the sun. This planet is turning away from the stationary sun, giving us the beautiful view you see before you right now.

“There is a lot of discussion among those who are educated about this sort of thing. They argue over which is the true basis of reality: pain, joy, suffering, kindness, whether life is just a silly joke or a cruel jest.

“Scientists say that the only truth of life is written before you for your eyes to see: that there is nothing but the seen, the material world. Philosophers and poets of course make the same argument over the truth of what lies beneath the surface.

“Cowardly miscreants however, propose that the truth of the matter is amphibian, a equal mixture of both.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I am no expert on what is real and what is unreal. I am not a scientist or a poet, but I believe stretched before you is the truest thing this world of mine has to offer: wheat field at sunset, the primary colors slowly fading into dark. What you see and feel here as you watch this moment pass are undeniable by any living creature. Treasure this moment and hold it close.

“How’s that sonny? Oh, yes. The bathrooms are back inside on the first door to your left.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s