Giving Myself Away

So, I’m donating a kidney.

No joke.

I would love to joke about this, and I’m sure I will be (a lot) in the future. For now it’s just the unvarnished, un-embellished truth.

A beloved family member of mine is in the stages of kidney failure. As luck would have it, I have an extra kidney that I’m not using. I like efficiency and all that, so if I’m not going to put it to use, I might as well let someone else have it.

Between the time when I first said I’d do it to now when the surgery date grows close, there have been many prayers said, encouragements shared, and advice given.

I still don’t know how I feel about it.

The doctors tell me there will be practically no effect on my lifestyle. Being a sedentary computer addict has its perks.

Of course I’m a little nervous about the procedure (I’ve never been under the knife before), but being anxious isn’t going to help anybody, much less myself.

My biggest concern is not the effects of the surgery, but the effects of my own mindset.

I have two conflicting thoughts with this whole thing.

One is that I don’t think that I’m doing anything special.

I’m undergoing a procedure that has no ill effects and will save a person’s life. Sure it’s scary, but I would hope that I would do this for a guy I met on the street, let alone someone I love. You have to remember, I’m saving a life. Who wouldn’t do what they could to save a life?

People tell me that I’m a hero. I don’t believe them.

I don’t want to scream of this in the streets, I don’t want to be specially considered, because like I said, I think this is something anyone would do for someone they love.

My Second thought is that I hope they dedicate a holiday in my honor.

I think anyone would do this, but apparently not many people do.

People tell me that I’m a hero, and I believe them a little.

I’m not anyone special, but I wouldn’t say no to a little accolade.

I’m super uncomfortable writing about this and telling you guys about what I’m doing. I don’t like to be personal on the internet, especially on something I’m throwing to the wind for anyone to read, like this blog. I would rather be a mysterious voice in the dark like Batman or the Lone Ranger.

But I realize this is an important thing not for you guys, but for me. It’s therapeutic to write, and it puts my mind in greater ease.

So now you know how odd it feels for me to give a piece of myself away. -BW

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