I’m sorry that I missed my last posting date on Saturday, but I have been doing a lot of thinking about the future of this blog. In addition to my thoughts, I have received the following piece of communication.
I am writing in concern to the writing contained inside the narrow confines of Your blog.
I mean of course your writing, your characters, your plots, your sentence structure, and I’m sure your general hygiene leaves much to be desired as well.
I hadn’t intended to malign the integrity of Your blog, but while I’m thinking of it, the whole blog is pretty rotten.
Normally I wouldn’t dirty my mind with the slop that you publish on your blog, but I am in desperate straits. I have exhausted all intellectual sources of literature and am looking for literally anything to keep my mind solvent with anything I can find.
Unfortunately, your stories have all the interest and variety of the nutritional value label on the back of a ketchup bottle.
I am despairing here.
Cant you think of anything better to write about than the pitiful tale of a pleasant homeless boy of the streets? Poignant you are not. Dickens you are not. A real drag you are.
I’m addition to the vast gaping hole of quality, is the vast gaping hole of quantity. Your blog posts are not long enough to keep a flea interested while he bites down on a dog’s ear. You have said that you will “try for the sake of quality to post a story fraction between 500 and 750 words per posting.”
Please, you slow witted typist. Is that the best you can do? Do you only type with one finger? I promise you that this very letter that I have written will be longer than your longest post. Although, to be fair, there is much more ground to cover in the subject of Your awful blog than the vapid stories you tell.
I could go on intermittently about how deep and despairingly bad-awful your stories are, but I must get back to my happy, fulfilled, and generally intellectual life without your blog. It will be a joy to return to a life without your writing in it.
As you can imagine, this bit of mail has given me pause. For one thing, this makes me a little bit angry. It also makes me a bit sad. A little sad for the writer of this letter, a little sad for me, and a little sad for Pandas in China.
I’m not gonna lie, that last reason confuses me too.
Having nothing better to do, I wrote a response.
To my dear friend Charles Xavier, if that is really your name. (Let’s face it, I know that’s not really your name. You’re not dealing with any ordinary uncultured oaf. I know that Charles Xavier is the birth name of Dr. X from the X-men. I happen to know that you are not the true Dr. X because the good Doctor is a personal friend of mine. You obviously lack his empathy, intelligence, kindness, and strikingly handsome bald head.
You have accused me of writing a bad blog. To such an accusation, I have only one response.
You may be right.
I have nothing to say in my defense other than I try. If you wish to deny that I have tried, then I suggest that you move on elsewhere. The internet is overflowing with reading material, some of it quite good. If you dislike the continuing story you find here in my blog, then I hope that you will move into a different place to read until you find something that you like and satisfied you.
Even if you do like what you find on this blog, I hope you will move into something else.
Otherwise I will break into your bedroom and write compliments on the wall beside you bed.
I am no judge to say whether or not you are correct in saying that my stories are boring and short. They are boring because this is my blog, of what I write, and if you are dissatisfied with what you have found here, I have to say that I have set out to please no one other than myself.
You say that my posts are far too short, and I agree with you. I wish I could post a novel every week in addition to what I already post, but I fear that is outside the realm of possibility. I have a job to work, friends to visit, and parents and a sister to commune with. Not to mention the furry animal demanding my attentions. I even have a cactus that is totally dependent upon me.
You suggest that each of my individual posts could easily afford to be at least a thousand words longer.
I will accommodate you.
The immortal “They” already mentioned have said that a single image is worth a thousand words. Henceforth, I will include an image, picture, cartoon, or other such visual media with every post that I can. I would like to write more, but I am afraid to say that it is simply beyond my ability. I am sorry. Not to you, (you’re not nice) but sorry to my readers.
Chuck, I have to say thank you for the input, and a want to wish you a deeper thanks, for spurring me inward to create a better blog.
Peace out, God bless, and may you life be happy.
That said, there are several changes in store for themadhairman blog. I have a new storyline ready for you, beginning next week. In the very next post, the new story arc will begin, lasting for approximately a month. The next post will also be a double post, twice as long as a regular post, and having photos, cartoons, or visual media of some kind.
I hope you enjoy the new development of the story.
As always, please contact me with any questions, comments, or suggestions on the further exploits of Quin.